Day 5

Well, I felt very grateful so far…that I was not going through the “big” headaches and agony that most people have…and I must admit, I was feeling great for the most part.

Then today came. The frustration of this new job has been building since I started Nov 23rd, 2009. I have had no training to speak of, and the lack of leadership from my “boss” and her “boss” is demoralizing. I, like the girl who started after me (Tina) are both there to earn our pay. Tina and I are very much alike. As soon as I saw her today and she looked like she was going to cry too…I knew it was going to be a bad day. 

We have fumbled through meeting after meeting where a plethora of acronyms are used and not explained. Luckily, I have found a 15 page document of acronyms on the server that helps out slightly.

After working for 4 days on an excel spreadsheet trying to map change request forms back to functional requirements for the project, my boss told me that is not what she wants, she wants something else instead.

I have learned already, that once she explained something she wants, I repeat it to her so we are both clear on what she wants.

I am and I will alway be a stress eater. This is not good for me, and probably the reason why I’m not losing any weight right now. I’m eating like a frickin’ bunny for god’s sake, where the hell is my weight loss???

I went for a walk, then I got in my car….then I went home.

That was better then the burger and fries I was going for originally. I had some cashews at home…then felt guilty leaving her alone, and went back. 

I took half an ativan when I got there, just to calm down, because I was going to lose it on someone.

Now, I’m home, medicated mellow, and wishing I don’t have to go back there tomorrow. It sucks, because this is a great position with lots of opportunity. But without direction, it’s hard to know what I need to learn, and who I can get that from. I hate training myself for a new job!!!


One response to “Day 5

  1. Jen I’m so sorry your struggling at work. Hang in there. On another note, I am SO proud of you. You didn’t give into the emotions and pig out!! You did exactly what you needed to do….for you!! I’m proud of you. Tomorrow will be better!! I promise! xoxo

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