Motivation is such a strange and personal thing…what motivates me, probably doesn’t even fall into another’s page.

For me, I don’t expect a big change in anything I do…I don’t expect  a minute faster at the mile I am running…that is too much to hope for. I know that I will get better at what I do, and it will literally be one step at a second faster, lifting one pound heavier, one rep more, one tenth of a pound lighter.

I don’t expect miracles, because I know I can’t deliver that. For me, just getting up and doing some sort of exercise is the prize right there. I have never been athletic in any form…I am clumsy and that is just asking for it.

In highschool, I didn’t take gym…it was not a required course. Even if it was, I would have done poorly. I didn’t like team sports, I’ve never seen a football or a hockey game. My interests in highschool were art and music.

I remember waking up one morning when I was 35, and thinking is this it? Is this all there is? I have to do this everyday until I retire or die…hmmm…which one should I hope for first?I wouldn’t run for a bus, to make a light at the crosswalk….nothing. I decided once I turned 35, that I never had to run for anything again. If I miss the bus, another one will come along.

To start running and exercising at 45 was really a blessing. I have developed more co-ordination, more flexibility, and more stamina. A side effect is the weight loss. 70 lbs.

70 lbs!


Before, my life felt out of control. Like I had no choices, and no opportunities. This has opened up a whole new world for me.

I see it in others when they tell me how much weight they’ve lost since I saw them last. It makes me happy to know that people look at me and see the difference. I don’t even see it honestly, but I feel it. I can move better, I am happier, and I see the challenge in everything. I want to travel, I want to try new things, I want to meet new people and learn everything I can about keeping this feeling.

In a way, I envy the people who started out athletic and stayed that way. They got to do all this stuff when they were young and enjoy it. That’s ok, it’s my time now. Their only downfall is seeing the slow but steady decline in their abilities…I don’t have that. I am impressed when I can walk to work and back and still be standing, although sore at the end of it. Thank God for the musical distraction.

Eventually, I am going to get to my goal – weight wise and physical wise…I wonder what I’ll do then?


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