Welcome to a new Monday!…for some, Mondays are the days they start over, and to an extent, that’s the way I look at them too. It’s a fresh week! New goals to be made and achieved. I’m thinking of starting to look at my “chore” lists differently….they are no longer chores, they are things I do for me, to keep myself comfortable….they are now my weekly goal list!
I’m going to talk about the head game of losing weight…and for anyone who doesn’t believe that losing weight is a head game, keep reading and see if this makes sense to you.
Losing weight is mind over matter at it’s best. The universe’s ultimate lesson. Losing weight is 90% brain work and 10% physical, they go hand in hand. If you are not in the right frame of mind, losing weight is a chore. Not that I thoroughly enjoy getting on the treadmill and running until I pant and sweat, but the benefits greatly outweigh the cost. Your body has to be ready to lose the weight, and your mind has to be able to let it go.
For me, my weight has always been my armor, my wall sort of speak. Just like in the movie, “The Wall” by Pink Floyd. I have been building this wall for a long time. Each self-esteem killing comment, each inadequate feeling, each betrayal of trust, another brick in the wall…each one a bag of chips or a can of coke…whatever made the pain go away, even if just for a moment. I knew no other way to handle it. I gradually decided that this was just going to be the way my life was…one disappointment after another.
I met my trainer Kelly at the tanning studio her and her husband own in the mall near my house. She proudly displayed her photo from a body building contest, and I though “Wow, she has the secret!”. She has a shining soul. It took me months to talk to her. I wasn’t ready yet….but I know where the answers were, so that helped. I was planning for what I was going to do, I was about to be laid-off from my job, and I remember how soul-crushing it was the last time I was out of work. I needed something to look forward to, until I could find another position, then after much head work, I decided to take the summer off either way. That is when I talked to Kelly and told her of my plan and got a lot of advice from her. She did my diet plan and workout plan for free…(She is probably one of the kindest people I know, and does the right things for the right reason). Once I got my package I gave her a few hundred anyways, no one should work for free if they don’t have to.
Kelly, made a point to tell me that everything in my life would change as I lost weight.
NO TRUER A WORD HAS BEEN SPOKEN!!
I believe that weight loss is a slow process, because as you lose weight, you are peeling back layers, like the layers of an onion. Each layer comes with a “hurt” attached to it, and each layer has feelings associated to it. Dealing with those feelings of hurt or inadequacy or whatever feeling is attached is not often quick. Once you really deal with it, then your body will let you move on to the next pound. I have found that meditation or yoga (which I am just learning) are a great help with working out your pain. It’s the quiet time, the “head time” that I need to move forward.
The other thing that I find helpful is forgiveness. I know that many of the things that hurt me to the core, were done by someone who didn’t intend to hurt me. Family, parents, friends, colleagues, loves…the final step is to forgive them, and to forgive yourself for hanging onto it. When I have talked to people, and told them of the hurt they had caused me, mostly they were very remorseful. My intent in talking to them was not to make them feel bad…that would be doing the same thing to them that they did to me….but to explain how it made me feel and get rid of it.
Moral of the story?
Don’t carry things with you forever. Work through the things as they come up, and release them to the Universe. It doesn’t mean that you can never think about it again, and cry…it just means that it doesn’t OWN a part of your SOUL anymore!
How brilliant is that! What smart bodies we have. Can you imagine the emotional pain involved, if you could just drop 30 pounds overnight, and not have dealt with the feelings left behind? That would be disastrous. It would leave nerves frayed and exposed…a feeling no one wants to experience.
So, try this: blog (or write in a journal) about your feelings, your hurts and whatever has a negative effect on you at this moment. I know there is no figuring out why someone else has done something, or said something to hurt you…that is their agenda, not yours. The only thing you can deal with is your reaction to what has happened. For someone with such a wall around them, I am still a closet crier. I can cry at dog food commercials on TV…(“Because they make food, to help my dog live longer!!! I don’t even have a dog…) I am learning to stop and look at situations more objectively. It helps to not be a kid anymore…kids are mean little buggers! They say what’s on their mind when they are hurt, there’s no filter.
Then make a list with 2 headings: things I can control and things I can’t control. Take each worry, and put it under one heading or the other. What is the point of worrying about the things you can’t control? Those are the things that weight down your SOUL when you want to fly!!!
Concentrate on your goals, and let go of what’s weighing you down.
You can achieve anything if you put your MIND to it!