The Voice in my Head That Tells Me I Can’t…

Today I “ran” to work….It is quotes, because while I did run in places, I am still mostly walking. When I put this in context, I do realise that everyone starts somewhere, and today is the official day I started running.

Today I say, “I AM A RUNNER!” The same way a mom says her child is now walking, as they teeter and wobble all about, learning and becoming better at their chosen skill.

I think I like running in the winter…I can still hide behind my many layers of clothes, and my touque…people still don’t see me.

I am not a fan of exercising in front of people…I am just starting to get past the “someone is looking, I have to walk now….” part of me. I know that is the reason why I like being alone at the gym. For all you people who have never been fat, there is just something about the “fat wave” that seems to continue moving, even after you stop moving…aka Homer Simpson. I find that humiliating. Winter gives me the opportunity to work on having less of the wobble factor, without anyone seeing it.

There is a clip on Youtube that I’m going to add here when I get home. apparently, youtube is not an approved site to access while working at the federal government (thank god really). It is Will Smith, and it’s called reading or running. The premise is any problem can be solved if you can read (there is no problem that someone else in the history of the written word, hasn’t already experienced, solved, and written about the solution) or run (once you can beat the “voice” in your head that tells you that you can’t…nothing can stop you).

The voice in my head is James Earl Jones. He tells me I can’t….and with a voice like that, who’s not going to believe? Today, I stuffed a sock in his mouth, and did what I could do to start. Hopefully, by May, his voice will be more like Mickey Mouse’s…..

Today I timed it…I don’t know where I’m going, if I don’t know where I am. My goal was to just have a number to start from.

When I walk, depending on the traffic lights factor, I can usually make it around 1 hour 5 minutes…running 50 minutes and 5 seconds.

Because I want to be accountable, and I am very visual, I am going to post my times on my blog…but I have many issues with running.

This is what I wear to run…2 bra’s, long sleeved, elastic type wicking compression shirt, nike short sleeved workout shirt, sweatshirt, then weatherproof jacket on top. Boxer shorts, long john type wicking compression tights, track pants. 2 pairs of socks, touque and thinsulate gloves/mittens.

I don’t think I am breathing right…and it could be “temperature” cold related

I sweat like a pig, and I am soggy when I get to work

My feet are cold! I have running shoes from the running room, but they are really summer shoes with the webbing on the top. I do wear 2 pairs of socks, but me feet feel crammed into them. (and I need to replace them soon anyways..) 

I wear gloves…the ones with bare fingers that can be flipped into mittens. I’m going to do the string trick from childhood, because half way to work I want them off!

I wear a touque and I’ve had issues with my glasses fogging up. I’ve managed to make something that holds my glasses where I want them, just have to figure out how to see while running..

My pants keep migrating down…suspenders while running? Hmmmm…

My jacket is waterproof and windproof…and just slightly tight with my three layers underneath it. I wanted one that was longer in the back because my butt gets cold…but settled for this one for now.  

Ok everyone…since I am new at this…I want advice! I am a visual person, so sometimes learning has to be the hard way for me…. I don’t expect to win any races, but I want to survive this 5k in June and look and feel better as time goes by.


15 responses to “The Voice in my Head That Tells Me I Can’t…

  1. Since you asked, my advice is very simple. You won’t get a long drawn out “do this and do that” that will make your head swim. Here is my two cents: Just keep running. Your body is already starting to adapt and evolve all on its own and it is an incredible thing. I’m so excited for you runner girl.

  2. oh…one more thing – I’ve heard that voice in my head say the same thing over and over again over these last 3 years of running. As time went by the voice started getting less and less loud and became a whisper. Suddenly I have noticed that I don’t hear that voice anymore at all – I know that voice has been defeated by the help of some amazing friends – one of which is you who remind me every day that I CAN do it and I WILL do it… so will YOU.

  3. I’m not a runner, but I applaud you for your goals!! I don’t have any advice, except to say KEEP AT IT!! Like Lori said “Just keep running” (which reminds me of Finding Nemo!! LOL) You’ll find your groove!! It’ll all come together, just like anything else you set your mind to………and I know you are accomplished in the other aspects of your life, so I KNOW you can do this!! xoxo!!

  4. First that voice in your head ..quoting from Pete Cohen here… That voice is a duck…so “Shut the Duck Up!”

    Keep going Jenn you are doing amazing and you know what!? You ARE a runner and you will only get better!! I bet come spring when you can shed some of those layers your ability will be better along with the confidence!! I am so excited for you!!


  5. One question…How did u get to be so amazing?!? Love the post!!!! Hi! I’m a runner too!!!! :-))) As for the voice…. James Earl Jones Reads my Bible on tapes!! LOL!! I loved the “Stuff a sock in his mouth” line!!! Priceless!!! I agree about the need for a starting point!!! You are gonna crush it in June!!! I’m so very proud of you, Jeep!!!! Keep up the Grrrrrrreat Work!!!!
    BTW… See you at the finishline tomorrow night!!! (Thanks Sweetness)
    Love ya Lots
    Dr. Mo

  6. I agree with everyone else. Now is not the time for technical advice. That can and will come as requested, and needed. Now is time for applauding your success! And it was success. Whether you ran a portion of a mile or mile with an “s”, the point is you RAN! And we’re proud of you for that! Keep it pushing, Jenn!

  7. You are so cool! I can totally picture your getup 🙂 I use the cold as an excuse far to often and I know it is colder there than here with me.
    You motivate me to try harder.
    That is a long run! 50 minutes wow!!!
    Keep it up Jenn you are on a roll and it is awesome!

  8. Congratulations on Announcing You are a RUNNER! and there you are —

    Keep going and teach the voice inside your head a different song! “I am amazing! I can run far! I can run fast! I am doing this! I am amazing!”

    As for clothes…. I get Nike stuff– lots of it… but my favorite stuff in winter are tights, dri-fit long-sleeve shirt and a hoodie– on colder days, a fleece.
    I wear smart wool socks (they don’t itch me) and my sneakers du jour– i have a different pair of running shoes for every day of the week. (lucky me!)
    Gloves– I have running gloves– spring weight and winter weight and usually after the warm up one glove or the other comes off… and then may go back on….
    always wear a hat in the winter and my sunglasses (especially now with the snow!) Glasses always do what glasses do– fog up, as you get warm and the air outside might be a different temperature…..

    Clothing you will figure out what works best for you…. there is no right or wrong!!!

    Awesome YOU!!! Keep up the amazing work…..
    fast or slow, YOU ARE A RUNNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Jenn, that is awesome! YOU ARE A RUNNER!
    That is a long distance for a first run. I mean a long time. My only recommendation would be to take it easy. Take it slow. Don’t do more than feels comfortable. (um, if you read my blog today, I’d say do as I SAY not as I do!)
    I’m really impressed at your outdoor running. I have been afraid of this since I am a total California mild-weather wimp, but last week when I was visiting my daughter in Frozen Country I did take a run and was amazed at how good it felt, after the first few frigid moments.
    Definitely get some GOOD SOCKS and good shoes. Hat, gloves, etc. Breathing wicking clothes!
    I am excited for this new journey you are on. You gooooooooooo!!

    PS. If you ran 50 minutes you already totally surpassed a 5k.

  10. Jenn I have been in the exact same place as you, only a couple of years ago. I only started saying “I’m a runner” 2 years after I started running because I just didn’t believe in myself, I didn’t have confidence but I should’ve had confidence from the start! So you tell yourself I am a RUNNER! With no quotation marks because there’s no doubting it!
    I started running for 30 minutes but I would run 1min/walk 10min and in 10 weeks I built up to 30 minutes of straight running and I ran a 10k 6 months after I started running. Trust me you WILL do it, and you’re gonna rock. It’s not easy by any means but it’s so rewarding!
    As for the clothes/gear. I wear running room socks and my feet have never felt cold, they’re the double layer socks. I got them at the running room outlet and they were much cheaper. Not sure if Ottawa has an outlet. And I’ve run in -18C and they weren’t cold. My pants also used to fall when I was wearing pants that were too big.
    As for glasses, I have glasses and I wear contacts when I exercise, but when I have worn my glasses I just try to pull them down my nose a little bit, so they’re not right on my face and that would help with the fog.
    But you’ll just figure out what clothing is comfortable for you as you go! It was trial and error for me.
    You’re going to rock the 5k in June for sure! Can’t wait to see your progress! 🙂

  11. Jenn –

    Great post! I don’t run anymore because of a knee injury but I did run for a long time. Here in the states we get our newspapers in plastic tube-like bags to keep them from getting wet. I cut the bottom part of that off and put it over my sock to keep the air out (they use that mesh to keep the sneaker from weighing too much but it is COLD!). Anyway, you could use a baggie or plastic wrap too. Just make sure it covers the toes and stuff the edges into the sneaker or let the edges hang out, doesn’t matter. Costs nothing, reusable, etc.

    Next time you buy winter pants, make sure they have a drawstring in the waist – so important while losing weight. As I was losing weight, I used windpants way past their fitting point, until they became a parachute behind me and held me back – then LOL I had to replace them. But the drawstrings are adjustable and invaluable. I also bought the lightest ski jacket I could find and use the trick of two pair of gloves noted above – you can always take off the big padded ones and have just the thin fleece ones below if you get too hot.

    MOST IMPORTANT!!! I loved the way you handled the voice in your head. As you know, I’m a professional coach and that’s where coaching begins – in the head with the mental aspect of change… we call that voice in your head (and there may be many of them) the gremlin. It’s purpose is to keep you safe and keep you from changing so you have to master it to get ANYWHERE in life. It’s great that you stuffed the sock in… keep up the great visuals. I so wished you lived closer – I’m teaching a weekend seminar on that mental aspect of weight loss in March!

    Loved this post and keep moving, runnergirl. Oh, by the way, I remember realizing when I was a runner that running is actually what the body was made to do. At one point in our development, it was the only way to get ANYWHERE!!

    Pat Barone, CPCC, PCC
    “America’s Weight Loss Catalyst”

  12. Great post!!! YAY YOU ARE A RUNNER! WooHoo! I only started running 3 years ago, so I can really relate to some of what you’re going through. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and enjoy it, and you will do great I’m sure! I started running in the winter too, and by summer you will be cruising I know! Clothing issues are really trial and error – with lots of errors! Most people overdress in winter I think. They say dress for 20 degrees warmer than the temperature – that’s how much you warm up from running. It’s like carrying around your own heater while you’re out in the cold! I dress in several thin layers. Dri-fit and wicking materials are best. Running stores and sport stores have great stuff, but it can get expensive. I’ve found great running clothes at Target and online at good prices. Running socks are great because they are thin and warm. I wear gloves with mittens over them, and take the mittens off after I warm up and stick them in my pocket. The glasses fogging up are a problem! I wear one of those turtleneck neck warmers when it’s cold, and I have to pull it down just far enough and then my glasses don’t fog up. Here’s a great site that lists what to wear for running in different temps:

    Good luck and have fun with your running!!!

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