Joyful Girl…

“Joyful Girl”

(Ani Difranco)

i do it for the joy it brings
because I’m a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it’s the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want to

everything I do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
‘cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don’t cry

and I wonder if everything i do
I do instead
of something I want to do more
the question fills my head
I know that there’s no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
I guess at least I know

I do it for the joy it brings…

I was very resistant to listening to Ani Difranco at first…actually for a long time. I had a girlfriend who really tried to get me into her music, but it just wasn’t the right time for me. Now, I listen to Ani’s Cannon CD almost exclusively when I run. It pulls me out of my head, and distracts me from “James Earl Jones’ ” voice. She is a non-conformist, in music, politics and word. She has taken me back to the roots of my political ideals…and has left me wondering what happened to my beliefs…

But I digress..

For now, she centers me…she takes the focus off the running, and grabs my face in both hands forcing my attention. “YOU CAN DO IT! JUST HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF”. Her voice is getting stronger, than James’….

I guess the part of the song that has effected me the most is the part about looking in the mirror, and knowing that people are going to judge everything you do…but ideally, the woman in the mirror will always know the truth. She will always know that the things you work hard for are usually the most meaningful because of the blood, sweat and tears involved. I don’t want anything the easy way…It looses the value behind it. I have worked hard to lose the 70+ lbs….and every step was mine, not someone elses. I have made mistakes along the way,  but those are hard earned lessons.

I was raised to work hard for what I wanted, my parents were not rich, and there was nothing available to me for free. I do wish I could have gone to University or College, but I probably wasn’t in the right mindframe for it anyways….Now I work hard to make up for it.

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2 responses to “Joyful Girl…

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