I’ve finally finished moving and I don’t think I could clean 24/7 and get caught up in the house….but I’m going to try.
I find cleaning therapeutic, and on that note, I am going to try to clean my life out a bit. I have become too “technically focused” on others, and I have to rebuild my own focus on ME.
I need to get back to me. I want to get up at 4:30 when I am in Arnprior, and be at the gym at 5:30. 1 hour to work out every morning will help me get ready for the 5K I have in a little over a month.
I thought I had dealt with my heartache, but it keeps coming back. I need to get by this, and I need to do it for me, not anyone else. I have been able to distance myself, but the pain is still there.
So, although you left me a long time ago, today I let you go. I remember telling you that there was a time period that we wouldn”t speak or communicate at all…and I remember that was not a happy idea for you or me then. Now I see the reasons (all the reasons), and although I don’t like them, I need the time to heal my heart.
Funny, that I don’t see any change in the timeline of our progression, but since I don’t control the universe or make choices for anyone but me, I have to learn the lessons before me….or continue to live them again and again until I learn. God knows, I don’t want to relive this pain again.
I know you will never read this…you have all but abandoned me. With generic words occasionally, you have cut me out. I guess that’s what I deserve. I should have paid more attention to my morals, and chosen a different path. But hindsight is 20/20, and I have to accept the mistakes I make in life, and learn from them. That makes it easier to make the decisions at hand.
I write this post for me…and for no one else.
Moving on….. 🙂