Words from the Coach….they POKE my brain…


Recently, I read a friend’s post. She quoted her mentor, and the post made me think….more than I usually do. (please read… http://msj4her.com/2blog/2010/05/31/pursuing-excellence-words-to-livetrain-by/) I know my goals…both short term and long term….but somehow, I let myself ignore them. I need to fix that.

* Define yourself

I don’t know about you, but I can easily define other people. This is something I both like and dislike equally, because defining people categorizes people in a “box”. I find it very difficult to define myself. I am going to try though.

when I started this journey, I was someone who always quit when the going got rough. I pushed my way through this time….for the majority of it. I find that I am floating and fighting now….I am distracted. I don’t want to let go of the view I have for myself, I want to push forward and achieve what I never have been able to.

I know how I want to be, and I am working towards that. I don’t think I will ever be the person who enjoys running, because I am always clumsy, and afraid of hurting myself. I want to be strong and able. Honest and trustworthy. I want to be able to stand tall when I think of my achievements, and fix the mistakes I’ve made in my life…or at least own up to them and pay the price, if need be.

Can you define me? Maybe I need to see me as others see me. I know my own self-definition is important, but in my experience, when I tell people how I see them, they are always amazed. When I tell someone how strong and amazing I think they are, they seem to be in awe. I think it has to do with context. For me defining myself, I see the strong moments, but I also see the weak moments when I felt crushed…that warps my definition to the point that I can’t see it in perspective.

* Know what you don’t know

I find that as I learn things on this weight loss/getting healthier journey, I am amazed by what I learn and scared by what I realize I don’t know.

* Know what you do know

I KNOW in my heart of hearts, that I can achieve anything, as long as it is important enough to me.

I KNOW that I can find the answer to anything by asking the right person.

I KNOW that I have friends that matter the world to me.

I KNOW that I am loved, despite the flaws of character I have.

I KNOW that prayer works.

I KNOW that when I give my worries up to the “universe” I get what I NEED. That isn’t always what I WANT, but it’s the right thing at the time.

* Beware of false prophets bearing gifts

This is an easy one for me…if it’s too good to be true, it usually is. If there was an easy way to lose weight and feel great, Oprah would have found it and bought it already.

* Have a good working compass, oriented to true North

I look at this two ways….as truely a compass comment and as a “truth and morality” compass comment. A real compass is something that I vaguely remember using in grade 7. We did mapping stuff in camp, and I remember getting to where I needed to be, but really not fully understanding how I did it. Truth and morality is a totally different thing for me. While I have made some bad moral decisions  lately, I have always been someone who judges people on their relationships with me, not others. I have friends who have been loyal to me, and done terrible things to others.

* Coaching is about people and relationships, not X’s and O’s

I have coached  at work, and that comment is true. A relationship that is based on trust and the sharing of knowledge, without fear is a wonderful thing! My first boss at EDS told me this when I started….”If you make a mistake, there is someone here, who makes more money than you and has more responsability…who is able to fix it. Don’t worry, just learn from everything, even your mistakes!”

* Those who scream and yell the loudest don’t get heard

I had a boss at SITEL who was loud and made a big production out of every little thing. She was successful, but not respected. Sometimes the quietest of people are the ones that change the world.

* Doing the grunt work enables you to make the fun stuff even more fun

I had a student at the hospital last year, who was just finishing her first year of medical school at Ottawa University. She applied for a student summer position, calling patients to remind them of  “primary prevention” tests that their doctor wanted them to have. (pap tests, mammograms, colorectal cancer, childhood immunization or flu shot). In her interview, she said that she wanted to learn every position at the family med clinic, so she could learn about the challenges each person has in their position. She wanted to be the best doctor she could be, and understanding the people she worked with would be beneficial to her, and may help her develop solutions in the future.

* Never compromise your core principles and beliefs

I have always had strong beliefs and principles and I have experienced how emotions can let me change them to suit myself, or make excuses for my bad behaviour. I never thought that would happen to me. I thought my principles were steadfast. I learned not to be as hard on others when they make mistakes.

* Friendship is one of the most valuable things you can have

Sometimes, that’s all I have. My friends are the family I CHOOSE.

* True friends are there in the good times and the bad

This is one that has caused me a lot of grief lately. I have made many mistakes in this area. I have closed off friends, and I have hurt them in the near past. I have misinterpreted comments and have not given them time to clarify…..just stopped them in their tracks and cut them off.

While hiding behind a suit of armor that has hurt me just as much.

* Honor and respect those who have opened the door and blazed the path for you

My ex used to get frustrated when I would go over to my friend Sue and Judy’s house, to help them out with their computer or some household chores…she used to say they were taking advantage of me. THEY were trailblazers in their own respect. They made the paths that I walk on now. They worked in the public service, and openly displayed their relationship. They trailblazed the insurance that I can now get with my partner, they trailblazed the beginnings of pay equity, they trailblazed the more open attitude that is out there for lesbian women. THEY have no clue really, that what they did in their lives make things easier for me today…..same way that I hope what I do, will open the doors for the ones coming after me.

* Family First

Sometimes that means blood relatives, sometimes that means the family I choose. Either way, these are the people who I would do anything for. ANYTHING.

* Quick fixes and crash programs don’t work

(Re-read beware of false prophets..(or profits))

* There are no secrets

There truly are no secrets…..there is just not knowing. Like everything else, educating myself is my responsibility. That doesn’t mean that I have to reinvent the wheel….there are many, many people who have already walked this walk. They have discovered things that I don’t know yet….and the beauty part is….most of them are willing to share their knowledge. The bottom line is, I still research what I am told. That way, it will make total sense to me. If I can’t explain it to someone else and answer their questions, I don’t know enough about it yet.

Wow, and I came here with a fairly simple post!  The definition of me is something I think I need more time to define….That’s going to be a focus for the next little while….


3 responses to “Words from the Coach….they POKE my brain…

  1. You are transforming before my eyes girl! Physically and emotionally! So proud of you Jenn!! Love ya girl! xoxo T

  2. I’m not very good at trying to define other people because I don’t know what their journey is, and because so much of what we let people see is superficial anyway. I know that’s often the case with me. If I was to try to define you, I would say that you are a strong woman who has accomplished and will continue to accomplish amazing things. You have a keen intelligence and a subtle sense of humor. You were quiet, but that could be because we were hanging out with Shannon and Mo! I’m glad that I had the opportunity to meet you in real life and hang out with you. I hope we can do it again. (Ya doin’ anything the last week of July??)

  3. Who would have thought that my sharing would have compelled such thought? Thank you! You are an amazing woman who is making some amazing hurdles!! Thank you for sharing you!

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