I had definitely stopped believing…when I threw myself into losing weight. Not that I could do it, losing weight is just focusing effort and education in the same direction….I had stopped believing that I was ever going to find the woman that I wanted to live the rest of my life with. Losing weight was a definite distraction.
Losing weight seemed like as good a focus as any….and I would end up healthier in the end….but still alone.
I did lose close to 70 pounds, not reaching my goal weight of 170, but still a good accomplishment. I won’t say I’m satisfied yet, but I am satisfied for now.
My life has been a whirlwind of activity, some good and some bad. I picked the wrong person to have a relationship with, and that was a nightmare and a disaster for both of us. I have moved on from that, and have gotten my life back in order, somewhat. Now, I am refocusing…
I want to get back to working out in the morning, because I FEEL GREAT when I do. I need to get myself back on my diet plan first. One step at a time. I know that works for me.
So this week, I want to cook my salmon, have my rice, veggies and fruits prepared as I did before, because that allows me the best route to success. I deserve to be happy in every aspect of my life, and I plan on working towards being better to myself, starting now.
2 weeks into the diet plan, I can start going to the gym again. I am at 210 currently, and my goal is still 40 lbs away.
Things have changed for me on the personal side.
I have someone in my life that is positive and honest. She tells me what I need to hear, as gently as possible of course. She makes me talk about my childhood, something I’m never comfortable with. She holds me when I cry, she tells me the things that I don’t particularly want to hear, but need to hear to move forward.
I am very excited to see what the future is going to bring for us.I want to marry her, and be with her always.